Elation

I am depressed, and I want to get " I " out of this depression. The opposite of depression is elation, I cannot force myself to be elated. I can, however, get drunk. This makes me wonderfully elated, and so when the next depression arrives, I have a quick cure.

The subsequent depressions have a way of getting deeper and blacker, because I am not digesting the depressed state and eliminating its poisons. So i need to get drunker to drown them. Very soon I begin to hate myself for getting so drunk, which makes me still more depressed -- and so it goes.

Alan Watts
Page 127
The Wisdom of Insecurity